Camera

Not mine, from Pinterest.

I want a camera, not a digital one, and thousands of film refills.

I want to go somewhere, even if it’s just in the city.

Why don’t we go somewhere?

I’m suffocated by my own brain and just my words aren’t enough to fill the deafening silence.

I know you’re busy, but I miss you.

Our conversations and all our inside jokes. I want to take the picutures that trouble my mind all the time.

I want to feel wonder again. I want friends and happiness.

Don’t I deserve that?

I’m ungrateful.

I want to be a kid, I want to be a teenager.

I want to do things other people are. I wish I could ride a bike, or go down. But I don’t want to, because I’m scared.

I want my family back

and my home town’s winters, fun summers and playful school days.

It’s too complex, so is my mind.

I want to go somewhere, leave it all behind.

I want pretty pictures on a warm grainy film camera.

— Giaa-Marie Raj